Mentoring

The Power of Mentoring

kalyn — Mon, 15 Dec 2025 20:35:19 +0000

The Power of Mentoring kalyn Mon, 12/15/2025 - 20:35

Carol Johnson’s Story of Giving Back

12/30/2025

Carol Johnson has always been passionate about giving back to her community. Having lived in Fargo since the early seventies, she has watched the area grow and thrive and she has played an active role in that progress. As Vice President of Community Relations for Delta Hotels and its property management company, National Hospitality Services, Carol connects the hotel to local needs through nonprofit partnerships, event sponsorships, and volunteer initiatives. For Carol, supporting the community isn’t just good business; it’s a core value.

Why Mentoring Matters

Carol’s journey with Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) began shortly after moving to Fargo. Coming from a small town where neighbors naturally looked out for each other’s kids, the concept of formal mentoring was new to her. But the idea of making a difference in a child’s life resonated deeply. She understood how challenging it could be for a single parent to provide constant support, and she wanted to help.

When Carol signed up as a mentor, the program required a one-year commitment, meeting her Little Sister once a week. BBBS provided excellent training and support, which eased her initial nerves. “I was more nervous about meeting my Little Sister than any job interview,” Carol recalls. But from their first meeting, she knew she was on the right path.

Building a Lasting Connection

What started as a one-year commitment turned into a nine-year relationship. BBBS organized regular events for mentors, creating a network of support and shared experiences. Over time, Carol’s role evolved from simply spending time together to guiding her Little Sister through the challenges of adolescence. Their bond was built on trust; her Little Sister knew she could always count on Carol.

Carol beams with pride when she talks about her Little Sister’s accomplishments: attending college, joining the military, and retiring from the Air Force. Today, they still stay connected, and her Little Sister continues to pursue her passion for horses.

The Ripple Effect of Volunteering

Carol’s experience didn’t just impact her Little Sister; it influenced her own family. Her children saw firsthand the importance of caring for others and giving back. For Carol, mentoring was more than volunteering; it was an investment in the future. She encourages others to take that step, reminding us that the time spent scrolling on a phone could instead change a life.

A Call to Action

Carol’s story is a powerful reminder that mentorship matters. Through programs like Big Brothers Big Sisters, volunteers can make a lasting difference not only for the child they mentor but for themselves and their community. Even small acts of kindness and support can create a ripple effect that lasts a lifetime.

If you’ve ever considered volunteering, now is the time. Become a mentor. Change a life. Strengthen your community.

Become a Mentor

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Mentoring

Josh + Bowl for Kids' Sake

maggie — Sun, 12 Mar 2023 16:04:05 +0000

Josh + Bowl for Kids' Sake maggie Sun, 03/12/2023 - 16:04

The Perfect Combination for Supporting Youth

03/11/2023

Josh Luhman jokes that he bowls for a living. His day job is actually at Hornbacher’s Village West store in Fargo, where he bags groceries, wrangles carts, and loads cars in the drive-up lane. Josh has been working at Hornbacher’s for about a decade, after a placement through Connections, a nonprofit that helps people with disabilities find employment.

Three nights a week, though, you’ll find Josh at either All Star Bowl or Sunset Lanes, both in Moorhead. He started bowling as a teenager because it was something fun to do.

Why Bowling?

When asked why he likes to bowl, Josh says it's because “You don’t have to be a pro.” Plus, he adds, “I’m a better bowler than a golfer.”

Josh’s love of bowling, his job at Hornbacher’s, and a desire to help kids coincide each spring during Bowl for Kids’ Sake, a signature fundraising event for Big Brothers Big Sisters.

A Bowl for Kids' Sake Leader

For several years, Josh has been one of Bowl for Kids' Sake's top fundraisers, usually raising over $1,000 in donations. In 2018, he raised $1,264.86 – he’s quick to correct you if you leave off the change – plus a $100 company match.

In addition to asking his family for donations, Josh hits up every bowler at the Moorhead bowling alleys he frequents. He records each gift on pledge sheets that have room for 10 names. He often fills more than a dozen sheets with donor names for Bowl for Kids' Sake.

A BIG Heart

“What impresses me the most about Josh is his kind, generous heart,” says Susan Smith, Big Brothers Big Sisters Program Director.

“To go person by person raising so much money from so many individual people just because he believes in us. … It’s just an immense blessing to have someone who’s that invested in the work we do.”

When you ask Josh why he goes above and beyond for Big Brothers Big Sisters and Bowl for Kids' Sake, his answer is straightforward: “Because of the kids,” he says. “I like raising money for them,” he adds. “It’s a good cause. The kids deserve it. It helps them out with life.”

Josh also supports the United Way, contributing a dollar from each paycheck and taking part in “jeans days” at the store. That and Bowl for Kids’ Sake are the two charitable drives he supports.

Considering Josh’s love of bowling and Hornbacher’s longstanding support of Big Brothers Big Sisters, Bowl for Kids’ Sake is a “perfect combination,” Josh says. You could say it's like a perfect 300 game.

Big Brothers Big Sisters is 100% funded by donations. You can make a gift to the program online here.

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Mentoring

The Impact of Mentoring Youth

maggie — Tue, 17 Jan 2023 04:18:48 +0000

The Impact of Mentoring Youth maggie Tue, 01/17/2023 - 04:18

How Having a Mentor Improves School and Home Life

01/18/2023

January is National Mentoring Month! It's the perfect time to explore the impact that mentoring youth makes on their lives. You can change the lives of kids in your community by becoming a Big. Here are just a few examples of what mentorship offers to kids:

Better in school

Grades	Attendance	Graduation
80% improvement in academic performance ? Better attitude about school	55% less likely than their peers to skip school Better school attendance (There's no place like school)	Increased high school graduation rates (Diploma, here I come! ?) Lower high school dropout rates

Grades

Attendance

Graduation

80% improvement in academic performance ?

Better attitude about school

55% less likely than their peers to skip school

Better school attendance
(There's no place like school)

Increased high school graduation rates
(Diploma, here I come! ?)

Lower high school dropout rates

Help a Child Be Better in School

Better relationships

Parents	Other Adults	Social Ties
Increased trust and better communication with parents (Moms & dads love mentors) Stronger relationships overall	76% improvement in relationships with other adults More positive social attitudes (The world really isn't so bad)	83% improvement in relationships with peers ? Less likely to start using illegal drugs and alcohol

Parents

Other Adults

Social Ties

Increased trust and better communication with parents
(Moms & dads love mentors)

Stronger relationships overall

76% improvement in relationships with other adults

More positive social attitudes
(The world really isn't so bad)

83% improvement in relationships with peers ?

Less likely to start using illegal drugs and alcohol

Encourage Better Relationships

Better skills

Communication	Participation	Motivation
Improved interpersonal and communication skills ? 79% improvement in ability to express feelings	81% more likely to participate in sports or extracurricular activities More positive attitudes ?	Enhanced goal-setting abilities (Making the future brighter ?) Higher college enrollment rates

Communication

Participation

Motivation

Improved interpersonal and communication skills ?

79% improvement in ability to express feelings

81% more likely to participate in sports or extracurricular activities

More positive attitudes ?

Enhanced goal-setting abilities
(Making the future brighter ?)

Higher college enrollment rates

Teach Important Skills

Better sense of self

Confidence	Understanding	Ambition
88% improvement in self-confidence ? Enhanced self-esteem	Greater understanding of acting with kindness 90% are interested in becoming a mentor themselves ??	130% more likely to hold leadership positions in the future (& that's how you empower youth!) Exposed to more career resources

Confidence

Understanding

Ambition

88% improvement in self-confidence ?

Enhanced self-esteem

Greater understanding of acting with kindness

90% are interested in becoming a mentor themselves ??

130% more likely to hold leadership positions in the future
(& that's how you empower youth!)

Exposed to more career resources

Increase Confidence in Youth

To learn more about what mentoring youth can do, check out: https://www.mentoring.org/resource/the-mentoring-effect/

Become a Big

Sources:

Youth.gov
Mentor
Local study

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Mentoring

BBBS Sisters Britany and Ruth

maggie — Fri, 03 Jun 2022 18:29:45 +0000

BBBS Sisters Britany and Ruth maggie Fri, 06/03/2022 - 18:29

A Story of a Big and Little Who Made The Perfect Match

It was close to Mother’s Day when Ruth Weber and Britany Williams headed out for their first get-together as Big Sister and Little Sister. They decided to drop by the Humane Society garage sale and let 6-year-old Britany choose a gift for her mom.

After passing over a variety of Mother’s Day gift possibilities, something caught Britany’s eye.

“I found this statue. It was of, like, a sewer rat with red glowing eyes, and it was really ugly,” Britany said. “And I was like, ‘I want to get this for my mom!’”

“And it lit up,” Ruth said. “Not only did it have red eyes and it was grey and awful, but it lit up!”

“I thought I’d never hear from you ever again after your mom opened that,” Ruth said to Britany.

Far from it. Ruth would be Britany’s Big Sister for more than a decade. Now 18 years old, Britany has graduated out of Big Brothers Big Sisters, but she and Ruth continue a close relationship.

“I couldn’t imagine my life without Ruth,” Britany said.

The relationship would be eye-opening and life-changing for both of them.

Britany’s home life was very different from the family life that Ruth had known. For one thing, Britany’s father was out of the picture. “I’ve seen him probably six times throughout my whole life,” Britany said. She saw drug abuse in her home and often lacked adequate parental supervision. At one point during high school, Britany’s mother served time in prison.

Sometimes Ruth would be shocked by the happenings that Britany would describe to her. “And so we kind of had to do a rule that she couldn’t tell me things…until we got to where we were going because I just about crashed my car several times,” Ruth said.

Ruth says she wouldn’t have made it as a Big Sister to Britany if not for the BBBS staff. “I didn't understand what I was dealing with,” she said. She didn't understand why Britany sometimes didn’t have the proper clothing or why she was hungry when she came over to Ruth’s home. She just didn’t understand why things were as they were for Britany. But what Ruth did understand was that Britany needed a stable influence in her tumultuous young life. And Ruth, a finance professional who thrives on organization and consistency, could do that.

"I felt like I could just be that constant,” Ruth said. “You know, I wasn’t rollerblading with her. I wasn’t the one doing all that crazy stuff that college kids did; I was repetitive. From two to four on Saturday I keep showing up, and you’re like, ‘You always keep showing up,’ and I’d be like, ‘Yeah, I’m here. I’m here.’”

That time meant a great deal to Britany.

“I just loved being with her,” Britany said. “We could just go on the couch, sit down, and not even talk, and I would just love being in her presence. It was just nice to have an adult who would sit there and listen to me—unconditionally listen to me, like, look me in the eye and have nothing else going on but me.”

There would be lots of those conversations and lots of shared experiences.

Once, BBBS participants were invited to a Boy Scout camp. There were a number of outdoor activities offered, including the opportunity to shoot a .22 rifle. Britany took to it like a natural. “And there was a bunch of old men; they were like all 85, with .22s,” Ruth said. “And Britany gets up there and she gets her little gun and she hits the target and they’re like, ‘Have you done this before?’”

“You’re only supposed to get five bullets,” Britany said. “I think they gave me like 15. They just kept giving them to me.” That night Britany and Ruth gathered with others around the campfire.

“It was a beautiful night,” said Ruth, a nature lover. “The sun was starting to set…And I look over and there’s a deer and a fawn off in the distance.”
And Ruth said, “‘Britany, look, there’s a deer and a fawn.” Britany leaned in and said, “‘If I had my .22, I could get ‘em.’”

“And I…thought, ‘What have I done?’” Ruth said.

Through all the fun and silliness, Ruth was impacting her Little Sister’s life. Britany said Ruth “opened my eyes to a whole new world.”

“I think she gave me dignity,” Britany said. “She just always showed me that life can be better than what it was…She just gave me hope, just showed me that…you can forge your own path. You can become your own person…You have the ability to do things, and you have the ability to make your future.”

Today Britany is studying at Concordia College in Moorhead, Minn., majoring in biology and chemistry with a minor in psychology.

“I want to become an obstetrician, I know that for sure,” Britany said. “I’m kind of thinking about doing neonatal surgery.”

Ruth says she’s so proud of the young woman that Britany has become. And reflecting on what Ruth has done for her over the years brought Britany to tears.

“You don’t know how much of an impact you’ve had on my life,” Britany said to Ruth.

Britany said she thinks of Ruth as a mother and told her, “When my mom left, I contemplated asking to move in with you and, like, be my mother.”

“(Ruth has) always been here for me no matter what,” Britany said. “She’s never put me down. She’s never told me I couldn’t do anything. She’s never not supported me. She’s never not pushed me to be my best.”

Britany told Ruth, “You’re probably one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.”

Become a Big

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Mentoring

Testimonial

How Becoming a Mentor Can Change Your Life

maggie — Fri, 03 Jun 2022 03:57:03 +0000

How Becoming a Mentor Can Change Your Life maggie Fri, 06/03/2022 - 03:57

Volunteer BBBS Mentor Sees Difference A Perfect Match Can Make

02/03/2021

Framed photos decorate Char Laney’s tidy desk at JDP Electric, Inc., in Fargo. Among pictures of family members and pets is a small silver frame. It shows Char with her “youngest friend,” on their first outing to West Acres mall.

Since 2014, Char has volunteered with Big Brothers Big Sisters of The Village as a mentor. It started with a simple commitment: to meet with her young mentee once a week at a nearby elementary school over her lunch break.

“The first day, I just knew we clicked,” Char says. “I have no problem making conversation. Neither does she.”

Char Laney would spend one lunch hour a week volunteering for Big Brothers Big Sisters by being a mentor to a Little in the Fargo-Moorhead community.

They talk about any old thing. They play board games – Connect Four is a favorite – or hang out on the playground. “As a volunteer Big your job is just to have fun,” Char says. “It’s my happy hour.”

After a couple years, Char started to mentor her Little outside of school. They now get together at least twice a month. Char worried they’d have trouble finding things to do, but that hasn’t been the case. BBBS shares suggestions, organizes parties, and sometimes provides tickets to events.

“She’s my youngest friend, and that’s a good thing,” Char says. “It keeps me young. I love that girl.”

During their time together, Char says she’s seen a weight lift off her Little’s shoulders.

“I tell her all the time she can do anything,” Char says.

This story of a a great friendship is thanks, in part, to a perfect match.

To learn more about becoming a Big Brother or Big Sister, visit www.TheVillageFamily.org/BeABig

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Mentoring

Testimonial

Little Beginnings Lead to BIG Potential

maggie — Fri, 03 Jun 2022 02:02:57 +0000

Little Beginnings Lead to BIG Potential maggie Fri, 06/03/2022 - 02:02

How Mentorship impacts the Lives of Youth

01/13/2021

Po·ten·tial (pə-ten-chəl): Having or showing the capacity to become or develop into something in the future

What can we do to defend the potential in the lives of kids in our community who, through no fault of their own, may not be facing the best life circumstances? How can we show them that they have a fire inside that can take them places they didn’t even know existed?

Big Brothers Big Sisters of The Village is trying to do just that, and you can help. By matching caring, adult mentors with children in need of a little extra guidance in their early years, we can inspire these Littles to think BIG.

Consider these local results:

How does change like that happen? Volunteer Big Brothers and Sisters spend consistent time with their Littles. That simple gift of their presence helps ignite the potential of children in our community. And your donation to Big Brothers Big Sisters means more matches, and more potential unlocked.

Check out what Big Brother s Big Sisters Program Director Susan Smith has to say about the impact of mentoring on kids:

"Kids have so much potential. When you have this mentor who just comes and spends time with them consistently and offers them support, it helps to bring out the best in those kids."

Donate online to support Big Brothers Big Sisters of The Village, or volunteer to be a Big!

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Mentoring

Karl and Ervin Have a Brotherly Connection

maggie — Fri, 03 Jun 2022 00:22:51 +0000

Karl and Ervin Have a Brotherly Connection maggie Fri, 06/03/2022 - 00:22

A Big Brothers Big Sisters Mentoring Story of Growing Together

Ervin didn’t like reading. So every week, his Big Brothers Big Sisters mentor, Karl would come to his school, sit with him, and help him with the words.

That’s what a Big Brother does. He shows up. Every time.

Six years later, Karl still shows up for Ervin.

“He’s helped me get through the hard times, and he’s always been there for me when I need him,” Ervin says. “He’s one of my best friends. He’s like a real brother to me.”

Karl and Ervin have been matched through Big Brothers Big Sisters of The Village since Ervin was in second grade. He’ll finish junior high this spring. Then it’s off to high school.

And Karl will still show up.

“It’s one of those things you don’t want to stop,” Karl says. “You want to see him grow and see him go.”

So Karl takes Ervin to the movies or out to dinner. He offers words of encouragement and advice when it’s needed.

“He’s gotten me to have more friends, because I’m more nice to everybody,” Ervin says. “There’s just a lot of things I like about him. There’s a lot of good stuff about him.”

Karl feels the same about Ervin.

“He says I’m there for him. Well, he’s there for me, too,” Karl says. “It kind of goes both ways. He’s just a really special kid, and I’m glad I’m able to be part of his life.”

The sky’s the limit for this kid, Karl says. Thanks to the match support provided by Big Brothers Big Sisters, Ervin has big potential. And it started with something little.

It started with Karl showing up.

“He’s a person I can rely on,” Ervin says. “He’s like a brother.”

"He’s helped me get through the hard times, and he’s always been there for me when I need him." – Ervin, Little Brother

Donations to Big Brothers Big Sisters of The Village allows the volunteer program to match more mentors with at-risk youth, creating more “Little Beginnings” that lead to “BIG Potential.” Please consider making a gift online.

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Mentoring

Testimonial

How to Spot Mental Health Warning Signs in Kids

sherri — Sat, 21 May 2022 17:26:27 +0000

How to Spot Mental Health Warning Signs in Kids sherri Sat, 05/21/2022 - 17:26

1 in 6 Children Experience Mental Health Issues Each Year

08/27/2020

Did you know that 1 in 6 youth from ages 6 to 17 experience mental health issues each year? Children often cannot voice their emotions like adults can, and that is why it is important that adults look out for warning signs of mental illness in kids. Early recognition of childhood mental health issues can prevent suicide, learning challenges, long-term mental health issues, and homelessness. Whether you are a parent, teacher, or mentor of a child, it’s important that you are able to identify possible symptoms of mental health struggles in children.

What mental health issues can children face?

Depression

A child living with depression might make comments like, “nobody cares about me” or “I would be better off dead.” These comments are warning signs and must be taken seriously. A child might also live with depression if they cry excessively or if they express inappropriate guilt about their actions.

Anxiety

Everybody will experience symptoms of anxiety in their life, but it is key to look at situational context to see if your child’s anxious behavior is regular or irregular. Symptoms such as obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviors, refusal to go to school, and excessive clinging to parents or teachers all can be signs of anxiety in children.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

PTSD is often thought of as a rare disorder in children, but that is not true. Sudden changes in mood, sleeping and eating habits, or self-regulation can be signs of PTSD. Dissociative or aggressive behaviors with adults or other children are also possible signs of PTSD.

ADHD

ADHD can look different from child to child, but there are some symptoms that are easier to recognize as ADHD than others. Symptoms of inattention or hyperactivity in children are signs, as well as the need for repeated task directions or displaying extreme hyperactivity even after physical activity.

Children deserve to feel a sense of mental stability and safety. If you know a child who is struggling, it is important that you take the right steps in ensuring they get the help necessary to put them on the path of mental wellbeing.

What can you do if your child is struggling?

Validate their feelings
Guide them through their frustrations
Remind them that they are safe
Listen without judgment
Seek help from a counselor or therapist for your child

Could your child benefit from counseling? To explore treatment options, call 1-800-627-8220 to schedule an appointment or contact us online.

Information for this article was provided by Village therapists.

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Kids and Anxiety: Helping Them Cope

sherri — Tue, 17 May 2022 23:15:16 +0000

Kids and Anxiety: Helping Them Cope sherri Tue, 05/17/2022 - 23:15

Tools for Children to Identify and Calm Anxious Feelings

01/29/2020

Fear. Worry. Anger or irritation. Insomnia. Anxiety can have many faces. Sometimes, it’s the face of your child. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health issue of childhood and adolescence, the Child Mind Institute reports. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 9.4% of kids ages 3 to 17 have been diagnosed with anxiety, and reports show it’s on the rise.

To answer some of the questions you might have about kids and anxiety, we've compiled answers to common questions about children experiencing symptoms of anxiety and how parents can help.

FAQ: Kids and Anxiety

Who does anxiety typically affect?

There’s often a stereotype that anxiety mainly affects adults, particularly females. However, anxiety can and does affect every gender and every age. We can even identify symptoms of anxiety in infants. Although anxiety is seen more frequently in what some might refer to as “Type A personalities” – people who are high-achieving or involved in jobs or activities that create high pressure – we see anxiety manifest itself in different types of people, and in different ways. For example, some people might withdraw when feeling anxious, because they feel that they can’t cope. Others may show irritability and snap at those around them.

When do kids begin to struggle with anxiety?

Often, traumatic or unsettling experiences or situations will contribute to anxiety. Other times, it seems to come out of nowhere. It can even start in infancy.

What does anxiety look like in kids?

Children present themselves very differently when they experience anxiety. You might notice your child being uncomfortable in situations even when they’re familiar with their surroundings. Perhaps they’re afraid to try new things or worried about “what ifs.” Another common sign can be physical symptoms, like headaches, stomachaches or vomiting.

Why are we seeing more kids struggling with anxiety?

Kids have so much more pressure on them these days, which seems to only increase every year. As children are often involved in numerous activities outside of school, they have minimal opportunities to engage in downtime to reset themselves and have free play.

What tools can be useful for kids to cope with anxiety?

It’s really important for kids to be aware of how their bodies are feeling, and to be able to identify their emotions. Breathing is huge for kids. If they can learn how to belly breathe, they can use this skill at any time in any place to help decrease anxiety. Another tool that works well with kids is progressive muscle relaxation, which is the tightening and relaxing of muscles. However, the best tool is a supportive caregiver that can walk them through the steps of identifying their feelings and using coping skills.

How can parents help their kids?

Parents can help their kids deal with anxiety by talking openly about mental health and feelings. The hope is that children never feel that what they’re experiencing is “taboo,” and that they have safe people in their lives they can talk to if they’re struggling. Parents should never be afraid to reach out to a professional if they’re feeling unsure about how to manage their child’s anxiety, or even if they’re unsure of what their child might be dealing with.

How can a therapist help a child who has anxiety issues?

At The Village, we see lots of children dealing with anxiety. It’s a common challenge, and kids really benefit from seeing a therapist to help them and their family explore how this is impacting their lives, as well as gain some tools to use when they're feeling anxious. Most importantly, it’s important for kids to have a safe and supportive place to share their struggles and their feelings.

The Village Family Service Center enhances lives across North Dakota and Minnesota through behavioral health services, including mental health counseling, addiction treatment, and family-centered engagement. To schedule a counseling session, call 1-800-627-8220 or request an appointment online.

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